Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Gripes

I am borrowing this idea from Kim.

Dear Part-Time Receptionist,
Please stop snapping your gum, it is driving me insane and it is unprofessional. No, "one and one fourth" doesn't equal "1.4." You're an idiot. Stop being so incredibly nosy! Haven't you noticed how the more questions you ask me, the less I say in response? You don't need to know everything about everybody!
Sincerely,
Your Boss

Dear Car,
Why do you hate me? Why are you so loud all of the sudden? You are a delicate little Bug, not a drag racer and the entire town doesn't need to hear when I am accelerating. Please try to keep it down.
Sincerely,
Your Owner


Dear Co-Worker,
Why did you call him?! He is not good for you!! I can't stand the way he treats you. I lecture you because I care.
Sincerely,
Your Friend

Dear Clients,
I cannot emphasize this enough. If you do not have enough money to care for a pet, don't get one! We can't change our policies just because you don't have any money. I honestly do not understand why you would have a pet that you can't provide care for. It is impossible to feel sorry for someone who is so irresponsible. Also, do you just walk into a pharmacy and expect them to give you prescription medicine without having a prescription? Do you just call your doctor and expect them to write a prescription for a problem that they haven't even seen you for? Of course you don't. So don't expect us to either.
Sincerely,
The Office Manager.

More to follow as the day continues.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOVE IT!!! Don't you just wish we could do things like that and actually give them to the people that they apply to? It would be so nice to be able to hand this nice little typed correspondence to everyone and everything that annoys you and actually have it work out. There are days that I truly wish that would prove to be productive. Sounds like you are having a lovely day. I hope your day gets better.
:-)Brenda

Mandy said...

Totally love it - I'll have to think of some of my own. :-)

Josh said...

interesting.

KT said...

What is interesting? The whole thing, or a specific gripe?