Overheard at the Animal Hospital.

Them: "Oh, my dog doesn't need a fecal test, he never goes outside!"
Me: "Really? He goes to the bathroom inside?"
Them: "No, he goes outside."
Me: "So you're saying he goes outside?"
Them: "Yes, of course!"
Me: "Then he needs a fecal test."

"It's an emergency! My cat has been gone for several days and he just came back home and he can't walk!!" (Really? Did one of his buddies drive him home?)

Them: "My cat doesn't need pain medicine, it's just a spay and declaw."
Me: "Gosh, I sure hope I get some pain medicine if I ever have a hysterectomy and my toes amputated on the same day!"
Them: "Oh, she'll be fine! I'll just give her some Tylenol." (NEVER GIVE A CAT TYLENOL!)

(Usually five minutes before we close on a Saturday) "It's an emergency!!" My dog has been limping for a month!"

"It's probably no big deal, but my dog got a chicken bone stuck in his throat about a week ago, and now it seems to have shifted and he looks like he's in pain. Do you think I should bring him in?" (Now that is an emergency).

"Yes, I know I just had a dog die of parvo, and I know that this one had parvo and just barely pulled through, but I'm going to go ahead and skip the parvo vaccines anyway. What are the chances she'll get it twice?" (Ok, sometimes it's not what these people say, it's their actions).

"No Johnny, don't pull the cat's tail. No Susie, don't jump on the scale. No James, don't color on the floor. No Janie, don't open the bags of dog food. No Billy, don't irritate the cranky receptionist, she looks like she might staple your feet to the floor" (I swear, some people come in with at least a million kids!)

More to follow, I'm sure.

PS - I still need comments on the career post. I know there are at least 3 of you who have not posted, you know who you are, so don't make me type your names (Brenda, Josh and Kim!) At least tell me how many times you think a 24 year old can change jobs before becoming "that girl."